Fabulous Fall Fashion

Hey all,

As you know fall has moved in, and it’s turned our sundresses into scarves. Bringing incredible beauty with it. I was inspired and wanted to share  four of my favourite outfits for this beautiful season. I’d love to see some of yours as well!

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Outfit 1:

Jewelry: Sirens

Clutch: Aldo

Boots: Le Chateau

Dress: Ross

Outfit 2:

Boots/Shoes/Jewelry: Ardene

Jeans: Freddy Jeans

Shirt: Express

 

Outfit 3:

Boots/Sweater: Le Chateau

Jeans: Guess

Hat/Belt: Rue 21

 

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Outfit 4:

Jeans: Freddy Jeans

Scarf: Aritzia

Shirt: Pseudio

Boots: Sirens

Jewelry : Le Chateau

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Redeeming Love

Can you remember back to when you were a child in gym class? The teacher would announce a game that the class was going to play and assign two team captains. For those of you who were exceptional at sports this was an exciting time! You had a clearly defined vision of how you were going to lead your team to victory, and everybody knew it. Not only did they know it but they wanted to be apart of that vision.

The team captains would fight over who could go first, so they could get the first pick, calling out the names of those who would be joining their team. The captain who lost the opportunity of “first pick” would let out a sigh and try to realign his team to find the next best player… and hopefully try to get a few good players after that.

For those of you who were not as naturally talented at sports, your main goals consisted of: Being on a friends team, Being on a team with the best players, or not getting picked last. Any of which you would be happy with!

The names would get called one at a time, and with each passing name there was a realization that your goals had changed from being on your friends team or the winning team, to not getting called last. As fewer and fewer people remained, the pressure of getting your name called rose, and hearing your name became a profound sense of achievement. For those of you who were picked last, there was a sense of shame and discouragement that set in. Unspoken words told you that you were rejected and not good enough. Although there may have been some truth to you not being a skilled player, there was still a desire to feel to security of someone knowing your worth and picking you anyways.

Although this specific analogy may not be relevant to every single one of you, there may in fact be a deep wound in your heart where someone told you that you weren’t good enough and my goal tonight is to restore some hope in that area.

When I was younger I struggled in Math… and when I say I struggled I mean that EVERY year when Math class rolled around there was a cloud of doom that would wash over me. Some of you may recognize that agonizing feeling I am talking about. When I got to Jr. High the struggle continued; and by the time High School rolled around it didn’t stop. In my last 3 years of High School, I failed 4 math classes. Since my childhood my teachers would tell me that I wasn’t good at Math, but in all honesty I could have told them that myself. It was reinforced so many times in my internal belief systems, that I never had any hope that I would be good at it. I put in many, many HOURS after school with my parents and teachers. Although at times I would get a passing grade, there was never a moment I felt as though my hard work paid off. It felt as though the Math boat was a sinking ship and once school was over, I could put it to rest at the bottom of the ocean.

Although this was my view on it, I can tell you it wasn’t the Lord’s. To my surprise a couple years after high school, I got hired for a position that I felt completely unqualified for. Not only did I have NO prior experience in the position, but at the time the economy in my city was the worst it had been in years. About 300 people applied for the job, and they choose me… The girl who was told by numerous Math teachers, that I was no good and shouldn’t pursue anything related to the subject. The company made hundreds of thousands a dollars a month, and required ME to look after their accounts, and required accounting skills that I did not have. It took some time at the start, but I eventually mastered the job. Not only did I become fluent at what I did, but I was told by numerous managers that I had done better then anyone had in the last 15 years in the position.

After that job I was hired for another position, that I felt was incredibly out of my league. This job once again required skills I did not yet carry. The position was for both bookkeeping and payroll. Both ironically involving a skill that according to many people in my past- I should not be involved in. I don’t believe that I got either position on my own accord. I think that there were several people who were more qualified, that would have excelled in both positions. However that wasn’t the point. I believe that the Lord picked a seemingly low spot in my life that several people had reaffirmed I would never excel at and graciously pointed out that He is the God of the impossibilities. A lie that the Devil tried to root in me at a young age, God turned around and used it for my good.

I not only believe that the Lord will do it again in my life, but I believe that He will do it in every one of your lives, if you allow Him. Big circumstance or small circumstances. It’s scriptural:

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 1:27-29:

27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him.

The world sees you based on your skill set and what you can give, but God looks beyond. He enables you to do things in your life that without Him you would be unable to do. He shames the Devil with the very lies that He tries to instill in your heart and God turns your weaknesses into strength. A gracious, loving Father has a desire in your heart for you to succeed! Think about it! All the Lord requires from you is your Yes! He wants your heart. He wants you to give over your ambitions and desires to Him, and takes you farther than you could ever have gotten on your own. It’s beautiful isn’t it? He does it for His glory, however through it all you’re glorified as well.

In the gym class the Lord is the coach, and He chooses you first. There is no hesitation when He calls your name. He doesn’t have a long list of qualifications that you have to meet. He see’s you in your weakness and with your flaws and wants you on His team.  He is calling you all into greater levels with Him. The Bible says, “God the Father is no respecter of persons.” Which means what He does for one, He will do for another. He will use every weapon the enemy formed against you FOR GOOD. Take that as your promise tonight.

 

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The Father to the Fatherless

This is for those of you who grew up with a unloving, inconsistent Father figure. Those who were abandoned, rejected and could not put your hope and faith in your dad.  Those who had a dad who valued work over you, or took advantage of your kindness and fragility. That was not the way family was intended to be. You are worth investing in, more then that you are worth crossing oceans for. The things you have to say hold insurmountable value, and time with you is irreplaceable. The giftings you carry in your life were meant to be recognized and cultivated by your parents. I am sorry that your upbringing didn’t contain a overall sense that you are loved. And that love not being dependent on what you did or didn’t do. No matter if you grew up with a dad or not today there is a invitation to have a relationship with the ultimate Father, who is the Lord.

One of the roadblocks into relationship with Him could ultimately be the way you were treated by your family growing up. I want to suggest the idea that the way you view your earthly Father is the same way you will view God. Not in the context that your earthly dad has Godly powers, but in the sense that if your dad is distant then you will see God as a distant God who has the power to have a close personal relationship with you but ultimately chooses not to. Someone who could come to your aid, but refuses.

Without knowing who God is we assume He is like the most relate-able figure we know. When the reality is; God is the opposite of human nature. He is the epitome of love and can not act inconsistently from His Identity. In him we are fully loved and delighted in, and without this truth in your life you will struggle with believing the lie that God is not good, and God does not care. We tend to let our circumstances define our view of God rather then allowing the Lord to define what our circumstances should look like.

Here’s what you need to know in the core of your soul: You are loved passionately  by a man who died so that He could have a relationship with you. He’s not scared of you messing up or failing. Your dirty laundry doesn’t stop him from pursuing you. If you do not decide to follow him He will love you 100%, if you are unlovable he loves you 100%. There is nothing that you could do to take away His love for you.  When He choose to die on the cross he already knew all of the mistakes you were going to make, and He has been pursuing you since the day you were born! He delights in you, and rejoices over you daily, He really is a happy Father! He wants to do life with you, everyday!It’s not in Gods nature to lie to you, it’s not his nature to give you something and take it away. He’s faithful to you. His nature is kind. He is gentle with your heart.

The bible talks about evil dads knowing how to give good gifts, and if they do how much more the Lord wants to give us good gifts. (Matthew 7:11). I actually believe this scripture was not only one to reveal the Lords nature but a invitation to ask him for good things. For those of you who have a good father this may be easy. But those of you who struggle with depending on others and a self sufficiency you may struggle at first.

Here is my challenge this week for those of you who have pushed God away because of a earthly struggle with your natural dad. First ask the Lord how he sees you, and really allow him to come in and heal those broken places. Remember that it is IMPOSSIBLE for Him not to talk to you. He desires a relationship with you and is faithful to come when you ask. Last but not least when there is lack or need in your life give it to him, and ask for His help. The Bible says when we ask according to His will we will receive. If you start to believe in God as a Father and believe He wants good things for you then you will begin to see your life radically change.

This Fathers Day know you are loved deeply by an unchangeable unshakable man, who will never give up on you. He’s a safe place to put your hope.

Brow Game: Strong

For those of you who love beauty fails you are going to really enjoy this! About a month ago I decided to dye my hair due to my roots being grown out. I went to the store, picked up the typical box dye on the shelf as I normally do and headed home. 30 minutes later my hair was orange. Ahhh! Horrifying right? It gets worse.

In a petrified panic I sped back to the store! There was no way I was going to willingly go to work Monday morning looking like a carrot head. I bought another box off the shelf, (different brand of course) and tried to fix it. I sadly have to admit that this did not fix it but actually made it worse. Usually at this point logic would kick in and say, ” You tried and failed, and now it’s time to go to the salon.” BUT NO! Not me… for I am far to persistent then that!

If you had to guess how many times I dyed my hair, how many would it be? Three times? Four? Nope. You would be wrong! I dyed my hair 7 times! If any of you are wondering that is 6 more times then the recommended amount on the box. Yes I am ashamed, yes I thought my hair was going to fall out, and no it did not fix it. Now I know you read the blog title and thought you were going to hear some wisdom on brows, and I promise you that we will get there, after this amazing story on my hair!

After many tears and much encouragement from my sweet husband I gave in and decided to head to the salon. I know some of you read that and let out a sigh of relief. Some of us learn the easy way and others have to dye their hair SEVEN times to realize that they are NOT a professional hairstylist. The talented hairstylist dyed my hair a beautiful blonde shade that I was unable to attain on my own. The only problem being is my brows were a dark brown and my hair was a light blonde.

This is where my guidance comes into play:

 

I used Jolen Mild creme bleach to get my eyebrows a lighter shade. I only had to leave the creme on for a couple minutes for it to work. The nice thing is you get some much product that you can wipe it off your brows if you are feeling like it’s been on them to long, and reapply whenever new growth happens. It is extremely easy to use and worth checking out. Switching to a lighter look meant a lighter brow pencil. I went with the NYX Brow pencil in Taupe. It is actually a dupe for the Anastasia brow pencil so it is extremely affordable!! And below is my end result!

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Please comment below with your thoughts or more importantly stories of your own beauty fails. I would love to hear them all! I love you all lots, thanks for stopping by!

xo.

Why Your New Years Resolution Sucks.

Here’s the problem with achieving your New Years goals: The odds are stacked against you. We are creatures of habit and according to several studies this means that if you want to meet your New Years goal, you will have to work consistently hard at it for a little over 9 weeks…That’s 66 days to be specific. Ironically 66 is said to be the Devils number, just like going to the gym for 66 days in a row..hellish. According to a Forbes article only 8% of people are able to complete their New Years Resolutions. I am not here to be a Pessimistic Polly though. I am sure you are different than everyone else, and I am sure this article is for the 92% of quitters…not you!

One of the things I think we can all agree on is when we think about our New Year’s Resolution they provides us with a glimpse of hope. We are able to look into our future and see the people who we have always wanted to become- The skinnier, richer version of ourselves that is. Which in itself isn’t bad. However 92% of us are still failing at achieving these goals that we claim we will spend the year achieving. Here is why I believe we are failing:

A. We couldn’t find a solid way to turn our dream into a reality. We want to be rich but it’s hard to get a good paying job in a declining economy.

B. We felt like it was to much work. Getting up at 5am every day before work to go to the gym, then working 8 hour days is extremely exhausting!

C. We weren’t passionate about the things we were doing.

Despite failing at these goals year after year we continue to make new ones. If I could make one suggestion as to finding a way to join that 8% of people it would be choosing something you are passionate about, choose to fulfill one of the deep desires hidden in your heart. Joseph Campbell once said: “Passion will move men beyond themselves, beyond their shortcomings, beyond their failures. ” Meaning you will no longer have to force yourself to do the tasks that you told yourself you would complete this year, there will now be a pure motivation and desire that will drive you to do them.

If you are set on sticking with a a previous goal that you are not passionate about, intertwine it with a passion! I loath going to the gym, I rather be in bed watching Netflix on any day of the week. I am however passionate about competitions. My husband knowns this more than anyone- I turn board games, and everything else in my life into a bet. I love winning, its just something that ingrained in me. I can use this passion to stick to a goal of going to the gym. I find that having way someone with me to compete with, or just compete with myself really helps.

The way to set yourself up for success is using what you are good at to reach any goal. If you use what someone else is good at it  to accomplish what you want, it can take you twice as much work as it takes that person. You were designed uniquely and filled with giftings that only you will be able to use to affect and change the world around you. Use them, and make this a successful year of achieving your goals and dreams!

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Taking Care of the Bill-Accountability

This week at work a customer came in looking to pick up a order that his boss had made over the phone. Upon searching for the order, me and my co-workers discovered that it was not in our system. This was peculiar, as it was the first time this had ever happened in my time working for my employer. Immediately my mind went to giving him the benefit of the doubt. “What if his boss forgot to call in?” “Maybe the order was done under a different account name?” In the middle of trying to find a solution for this man, he decided to call his boss. Loudly and for the whole company to hear he says, “These idiots don’t know how to do their job and can’t figure anything out.”

Over the phone, the boss describes to this man the person whom he believes helped him place the order. The customer in the store thinks I match the “description” and then of course accuses me of being the person responsible for this problem. Sigh. Thankfully, I am protected by the fact that my job duties don’t include placing orders. As I look across the room I see my co-worker mouthing a name, the name of a business located two blocks away from us. I turned back to the man and asked him if he could have possibly mistaken this other business for ours?  His face went expressionless as the lightbulb turned on in his head and he turned away and left the room without saying another word. This man took no accountability for his actions. He came in called me and my co-workers names, he was rude and felt justified in it. He was proven foolish and in the wrong but still he left without expressing any remorse for what he had done.

One of the biggest lies that we can believe is that we are powerless victims of our own circumstance. We tend to avoid responsibility for our own conduct by blaming others for the contributing factors that led us inevitably to our negative actions. The path to wrong-doing was not our intention, the people involved hurt us and brought events to this outcome so logically we must not be 100% to blame. But does that logic really equal innocence? If someone hurts us in a major way, does it justify our retaliation? Even if our retaliation is small by comparison, can we weigh our slights against each other and find one to be just? Believing we can will only immobilize us, causing us to blame others for what we need to take responsibility for; our own hearts. Yes someone could have hurt you in a situation, but that does not make what you did permissible. Toxic people project their own character defects onto their victims. They do this by accusing the victim of the exact actions they themselves deny. More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren’t so busy denying them. Maturity comes when you stop making excuses and start making changes.

Another thing that will stop us from taking accountability is using our feelings to override the truth. You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel. Moreover, your feelings are not always truth. Your feelings can and will lie to you. For example, just because I feel like someone thinks or believes something about me doesn’t make it the truth or a fact. Just because your pain is understandable does not mean your behaviour is acceptable. There is no better test of a man’s integrity than his behaviour when he is wrong or hurting.

These are some of the things that you are accountable for:
• The way in which you communicate with others
• How you spend your time
• Your behaviour and manners
• The consideration and respect you show towards others
• Your attitude and thoughts
• The way you respond

Do not apologize for someone else’s feelings. “I’m sorry you’re mad,” is not an apology, it is condescending. Do apologize for your own actions and attitude. “I’m sorry I was rude,” is an apology that takes ownership. Be specific about what you did wrong. “I’m sorry for whatever made you mad” Is NOT going to work. Don’t add an excuse to your apology. I’m sorry I was rude, but I was really irritated,” means you’re not really sorry. You feel justified for the way you acted and you expect to be excused.
Do ask for forgiveness when you apologize: “I’m sorry,” on it’s own, is just a statement. It requires no response. “Will you forgive me?” is a humble request that can rebuild a relationship. When you ask your friend to forgive you, wait and listen. Be prepared for the response, “I need a minute, I’m not there right now.” When you are in the wrong, you are never owed forgiveness but be grateful when you do receive it. Don’t expect a reciprocal apology. For example, let’s say you were in a fight. You were both rude and hostile towards each other and now you’ve decided to be the brave one and apologize first. Do not apologize expecting your friend to apologize equally. When you have done something wrong, take responsibility for your part of it. The end. Do attempt to make a repair. Rome was not built in a day, and neither are relationships. Trust takes time to earn back, it’s a slow process but quitting will not speed it up.
Last but not least, if there are people in your life who avoid apologizing or taking accountability for their actions, I believe there are two things you need to do.
First of all, forgive them. I can forgive someone but that doesn’t mean I accept their behaviour or trust them. I forgive them for me, so I can let go and move on. Stay away from people who can’t take responsibility for their actions and who make you feel bad for holding them accountable when they do something hurtful. Part of relationships means being vulnerable and truthful. The vulnerability that honesty requires is not something that everyone can handle. Lying allows people to be comfortable.
Secondly, create boundaries. Some of you need to do this with family members and friends in your life, not just those who hurt you. Boundaries are not mean, they are created to protect you in relationship and create a place where you and others can be healthy and thrive. What is a boundary? A boundary is a definite place where your responsibility ends and another person’s begins. It stops you from doing things for others that they should do for themselves. A boundary also prevents you from rescuing someone from the consequences of their destructive behaviour that they need to experience in order to grow. It’s only once we can assert ourselves and say “I will not tolerate x,y,z” that we can be whole, healthy and not in bondage to someone else, but instead stand free in a relationship.